A Sandbox of Anarchy

I might have mentioned, a while ago, that I had started reading this book called “The Bible”, you probably haven’t heard of it. But anyway, it has this fellow named God who is supposed to be all-knowing and all-loving, yet he also seems to be  just and all-punishing. I found that concept rather confusing but I just assumed He is greater than I could ever be so I decided that’s why it didn’t make any sense, then I got to this part about a flood.

So the story goes, God made two humans(a man and a women) and they were supposed to be happy and somehow procreate without the knowledge of sex. Then the dumb blonde decided to eat some super tasty fruit and ended up making all of her offspring inherently evil, before they were even born. Sure God could have prevented that, and then he would have been left watching two naked people prance around as well as a bunch of animals for all of eternity, which would probably give this God guy a giant boner(I mean they are naked). Instead he wanted to make things even more interesting and give two of his creations the ability to choose what they wanted out of their life, and of course the Utopian Eden they lived in was far too boring, even for supreme human beings, so she ate the fruit which, I guess, gave her the knowledge of death and sin and a bunch of other awful things, worst of all the fear of being naked.

So after this cataclysmic event, Adam and Eve realized they had genitals that  felt good when they were touched, so of course they gave birth to the first born sinners. Then their blood line continued all the way down to some dude name Noah. Now what the book didn’t say, but had to be assumed, was that God also made these ‘side-people’ who were grown from pig feces or something as they were apparently the worst of all Gods creations yet weren’t descendants of Adam and Eve, and he had to rid the world of these useless sacks of sin, so he sent a flood(All-loving my foot). Then, the lesser-sinner Noah, born of that noble blood-line was chosen to build a boat and GTFO before the endless rain, to drown those poor losers, began.

By the way, this is all before humanity’s saviour, Jesus, was even born so all those suckers that drown were going straight to hell, without a second thought from God. I guess justice trumps love. Anyway, this is where I just really couldn’t figure out what was going on as he later says no more floods, as though he regretted what he already knew he was going to do, since ya’know, he’s all-knowing and such. What kind of dumb-ass omnipotent god feels regret from an event that was always going to happen as was done by his own hand. Worse yet is the idea that he may have felt no regret and that  he killed people just because he gave them the free will to do bad stuff, which resulted in them actually doing bad stuff. If he really loved humanity, he would have just sent down his son ASAP to show the world he loved them and would always give them a place in heaven, instead of asking them to destroy half the lamb population for a couple hundred years, as that was pretty much the only acceptable sacrifice.

I think God really just likes chaos and destruction, but then got bored of it so he created controversy by sending his other third(Father,Son, Holy Spirit), Jesus. Then most of the Jews finally believed Jesus was in fact the Son of God and Man, so then he whispered to the brown people and they created Islamic religion to really get a show. Many Muslim’s eventually digressed into some half religious group, half terrorist-for-Allah party. So, basically God was making a Micheal Bay movie on Earth.

Explosions are only fun for so long so God told Satan to actually do his job and get some people questioning his existence, thus atheists became far more common, to challenge God and the three massive groups(jews, Christians, Muslims), that were already at war with each other.

In conclusion, based off the first couple chapters of this bible I have discovered that God is just bored and also not all-knowing, nor all-loving, but is chaotically just.

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